Cd23, emotional rantΒ 

Well, I dunno what’s going on bit I’ve been so emotional the last couple days. I just want to cry at everything, even nothing 😦 makes me really annoyed at myself. I just want to give myself a slap and say sort yourself out! 

I’m hoping it’s a good sign bit I doubt it, I’m not getting my hopes up. I really don’t think I have conceived…. Yet again. 

Month 8 can bigger off 😦 bah!
Doesn’t help that I’ve done so much excercise and eat less than 2000 calories a day…. And I’ve not lost weight 😦 

Just so hacked off with everything.

Cd15 end of fertility week and a life catch up

So I’ve hit the end of my ovia fertility week. Ovulation was a few days ago and bd lots so fx that this time we are lucky.
I feel a lot calmer and relaxed about it. But I can’t say the same with everything else in my life at.

My and husband run my business so it means if this go quiet or if lots of bills come out, it’s up to me to make sure it all goes right…. Well lots of bills came out and put us back to square one with money :/

Also brother in law (who lives with us) Is moving out to a bugger place and I’m really worried about our money situation from that front too… It’s going to be so hard. But nice to have the house to ourselves and more room.

My depression is still showing its ugly head every now and then… I’m trying to keep tabs on my angry outbursts at the husband. But when I’m feeling low it’s really hard.

On the plus side… I may have only lost a couple lbs dieting and exercising this month but Chris said he’s been able to notice the difference in the way I feel when he holds me so fx that after some muscle build up the fat will shift. Still 14 stone…. :/

image

A mixed up day

So today my feelings have been up and down. I felt great most of the day but kept thinking about what could have been..

I’m meant to be 13 weeks… I thought I got over this. But there have been so many 12 week scans popping up on the dreaded Facebook in the last week…. It should be me.

On the plus side swimming is going well. I joined the gym a week ago and been swimming nearly every day.

image

Let’s just hope if I keep this up, I will loose some weight. I’m keeping bellow 2000 cal a day too

Today was a good day

So today was much better that the last few. I’ve been feeling a bit low recently but today was good.

I was woken early by a very uncomfortable blue so ‘slept’ the last couple of the night away on the sofa cuddling my poor boy. He was castrated yesterday so was probably a bit sore still.

I had the morning off work so I went for a swim and did another 40 lengths in my 25 min in the pool.
I had my eyebrows threaded then headed to see Tallis and Rory. I gave Tallis her birthday present. Which she loved! It’s so good to see her smile. I’m really glad we have started to hang out and chat more. She only lives down the road, and she’s a brilliant friend πŸ™‚ she’s been a bit low recently so was really good to see her so so happy. It’s really made my day.
And we had a catch up whilst Rory was napping. Then did some hand a footprints with him.
Didn’t want to go back to work! Wanted to stay chilling with them instead.
Work was good though and had a chilled evening.

A good day all round. And only eaten 1,700 cal

7 months… On bfp… One mc…. Miserable…

Feeling really down at the moment. We have been trying to conceive for 7 months now and only caught the once and miscarried. I was so hoping this month would be my month.

Catching ovulation on LH dips….. Implantation spotting… Come on… I got to have caught right?
But I’ve had no symptoms since….. Due on in a few days so will find out then I guess 😦

Me and oh are both tired…. Which is a little straining sometime :/ joys of being his boss too is I have to try and separate the relationship from the job… I’m not very good at this at all.

I want so much from life, business to do well, house to myself (brother in law lives with us atm to help pay mortgage), baby, more than one day off a week, sleep, to loose weight….
Urg

Day 1 of a new routine

So I’ve been on a lower calories diet for a while now but not lost any weight.
Time to get back into excercise!

I joined the gym on a swimming only member ship for the next month. I love to swim. So fingers crossed I keep it up.with work it means getting up early and getting over there for a swim before the day care centre opens :/ fun fun.

But I need to increase my fitness again. And need to loose at least 2 stone. I feel like a right fat lump. Keep having dreams that people are commenting on how big I have got, and asking if I’m pregnant…. 😦

11dpo….

So I’m 11dpo
Ff says I should be due af on Wednesday
Ovia says I should be due af on Saturday
Not sure which one to belive. Ovia usually spot on!

Still getting negative pregnancy test. This sucks ass! I’ve got no symptoms but the spotting I had a few days go has put me on high alert.
I’ve been grump, uncomfortable and sleepy. But no sickness or anything this time.
I just don’t know what to think.

My chart from ff showed a dip and has risen again today….. So I can only hope.
Fx

image