met some pooches

So yesterday me and Chris went to ARC animal rescue, in ottery St.mary, to look at some dogs we can foster.

We met Leo, Toby and Loki.

Leo is a 10 month old lab x staffy. Apart from being young and enthusiastic he is a good all-rounder. Good with kids and dogs 

Toby is a beagle x 

He had mouthing issues that needs work. Good with dogs unknown with kids.

Loki is a staffy x English bull 

Been in kennels for over a year and is only 2. He is a beautiful boy very loving but very focused/possessive of toys and food. Could cause issues if out on a walk, off lead and spots a toy he wants. But this hasn’t been tested.

Leo seems best for us. The guy up their said once he is neutered he can come to us. 

And said he could see it more than likely a fostering until we can afford the donation haha. 

You should have seen Chris face when Leo came in the room! It was wonderful to see such a smile on his face. I knew I would love Leo. He is young, feisty and in need of some love. He’s a good all-rounder so should fit in perfectly. He’s been kept outside/kenneled for a while so we just need to do some toilet training with him.

Crystal will be calling us a week today (urg! So long) and he has to be neutered. 

I might see if he can come at the start of our holiday, so we can settle him in with just me and Chris around.

cried myself to sleep

Last night I cried myself to sleep.

I had to have my 11 month old dog put to sleep on Sunday as he was so aggressive towards people. I spoke to 2 vets and they said it was the best thing to do as no rescue would take him.

So this year… I lost Ozzy dog to illness in January…. Miscarriage in April…. Lost blue dog in august…. The day before my first wedding anniversary. 

I’m not coping well. I’m very depressed and want to cry all the time. I keep putting on weight even though I’m barely eating. The doctors have booked me in for bloods on 30th aug but I’m still a gaining weight.
I just want all this bad luck to end now. I’m a fat ugly lump with no dog of her own…. Who has been trying for a child for 11 months now with no luck.

Don’t get me started on the debt I’m in…..

Fuck you world, fuck you. Give me a break

next step

So off is went to the doctors…. Nearly missed it! We were helping the brother and law move out and completely forgot to keep an eye on the time! 

I called the doctors and managed to get them to send in the next patient so I could still be seen! Phew!

So we had a really nice chat to the doctor. He’s was very friendly and understanding. Which was really nice. 

I have bloods booked in for end of the month to test for polycystic overies and for a thyroid problem. 

If these come back all clear we will start doing other tests. 

Just need to keep going with eating healthy and exercising 

off to the doctors

So we are off to the doctors today. 

Really worries about it. I’m mainly going up to chat to them about the 2.5 stone I have put on since coming off contraception. But I’m going to ask then when they do bloods if the can do a fertility check on them too 

Barely slept proppetly last night. I kept dreaming about it all. I kept dreaming I found out something is wrong and and there is nothing they can do so I get bigger and bigger.

😦

Cycle 10, accidents don’t happen… 

So we have hit the fertility week of cycle 10 of trying to have our first little baby. 

I’m slowing giving up hope. So many people around are pregnant… Even the ones that said they didn’t want kids…. But o look… Woops hey accidens happen…..

Well where is my accident…. Accidents don’t seem to happen for me 😦 I want a little bean no w please.

Husband says I’m worry about it to much and should stop thinking about it. How am I meant to do that 😦 it’s all I my right now

The ups and the downs

So it’s been a really hard week.
We have had the busiest week at work. Which smashed in with my gran going into hospital, having another major operation, and currently on life support in intensive care. And aunt Flo showed her face 4 days early.

I mean come on! 4 days early, it’s not like I havent got enough going on right now. I could have done with a positive test… Surely my luck isn’t that bad 😦

On wards and upwards, I will now wallow this month, other things are way more important than not being pregnant at the moment.

So much to do at work and at home.
Need to make sure the family are ok.

I will keep smiling, no matter what