sat in my car…

I’m sat in my car, near my house. Knowing full well I should go inside and feed the pooches and snuggles with them in the sofa…. But I’m not…. I’m just sat here thinking. I’ve had a lovely dinner over and mum and dads. But I’m just sat here… I got in the car and my mood dropped. I feel like crap. I tried once again to talk to mum about how I’m feeling about things but once again she brushed it all off. I’m not fine, how ever much she wants me to be. I’m still trying for a baby…. As much as she says, once you stop trying it will happen.

 Hate it when she says that. I want a baby…. How do you stop trying once you want one, once you need one, once you realise that once you have had a baby, you can go back on a contraceptive and hopefully go back to being the person you were before…
I don’t want to go into an empty house, with just the dogs. I don’t want to be alone. I feel very alone sometimes and it sucks, so when I’m actually alone…. It sucks more 

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