no more tears…..

I’m trying so hard, so so hard. I don’t want to cry anymore. I want to be OK. I don’t want to be going through this. It’s broken my heart. I feel so numb constantly, my heart hurts.

I wake up every morning… And it’s gone…. I go to bed every night…. And it’s gone. How the hell can I get over this again. 

My eyes are always so heavy, all I want to do is sleep. 

I’m trying to b more motivated. It keeps the tears at bay but that’s it. It low feelings, the sadness, the numb pain doesn’t go…. How ever much I get done or keep distracted.

I hate crying on Chris all the time. Must make him feel so useless 😦 I have doing that to him. I have to stop. I need to be me. But how can I be me when part of me has been taken away again. I was more attached this time and I feel the loss so much more. 

I doubt things will get better until I conceive again…. And that could be a long time if last time was anything to go by. But let’s just hope my metformin does the job and I catch fast. 

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