life going on…. maybe… 3 weeks

So I’m struggling. I won’t deny that. I have my better days…. I won’t say good… Because they still hurt like hell…I still want to cry all the time but I’m holding it together…. Getting on with life.

I have to.
3 weeks since my op… I should be 15/weeks pregnant… I should be getting excited…. I should be decorating the spare room. But instead I’m Sat at work… Wanting to cry. Haven’t done anything to spare room… What’s the point…. The house is a mess… What’s the point…. Work is all going wrong…. I need to sort that. I want to run away. Start again somewhere new but I can’t so that. I want to get out of my own head. I don’t want to be me.

Chris has been amazing. Hugging me when I need it, looking after me so well. We have had a few tiffs but it’s expected. We are tired and hurting. It’s going to be pretty normal surely. 

Trying to get back into my exercise but motivation is hard to come by, again, all I want to do is sleep. I went to stretch last night but teacher was off so it was yoga instead. Was good relaxation and helped my back. But not what I was expecting at all. 

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