One year on…
A year ago today (4) I wasn’t feeling well.
A year ago tomorrow (5) I got my first ever faint positive and didn’t believe it.
A year ago on the following day (6) I got my positive that we have been waiting for since november
On the 8th we told my mum, dad and the kids.
Never did I even consider loosing that little bean. And never did I even think that I would loose my second too.
Never did I think that a year on I would be babyless and still waiting.
Never did I think that I would be in a 2 week wait wishing I felt sick.
Never did I think that this would have changed me so much. I cried again last night. I feel like crying now. I can’t get to grips with what has happened to me. I struggle every day.
I crave for a baby so much it hurts. I want to have a little one just like everyone else I see around me. So many babies, so many lucky people. And here I am babyless. Wishing every day.
I don’t hold out much hope. It took 5 months to concieve the first time. 7 months for the second. I’m on cycle 3 since my last…. I’m not holding out at all that I will b pregnant this month. I know I’m not. Life isn’t that good to me.
I have my husband…. I have my dog…. I have my business… I have my house…. o have an amazing family….I have good friends…. it should be enough right?