A new drug to try…

So I’ve been doing some reading and I’m going to give this a try.  Natural clomid. With a 77% chance of concieving, I’m happy to try anything! 


Soya Isoflavones are derived from soya beans. They have been dubbed “the natural Clomid,”

As they work in pretty much an identical manner. 

Just like Clomid; Soya Isoflavones work by tricking your body into thinking its low on oestrogen. Your body then kick starts production of FSH (Follicle-stimulating hormone) followed by LH (Luteinizing hormone) Which are both necessary to release Healthy Eggs during ovulation.

FSH is released at the start of the menstrual cycle; it stimulates the growth of an immature egg into a fully matured egg. When the egg has matured your body then releases a surge of LH. LH is the hormone that tells the ovary to release the egg.

You take Soy Isoflavones, like Clomid, on either CD 1-5 , 2-6, 3-7 , 4-8 or 5-9.

If you take soy Isoflavones during the later time bracket, for example CD5-9, you shall strengthen the egg that has already started growing producing a healthier egg. The earlier in your cycle you take It, the higher your chance of releasing multiple eggs but these eggs will not be as mature as the eggs grown from taking Soya later. 

A lot of women will choose the middle cycle (3 -7) allowing time for a strong and healthy egg to develop without erasing the chance of a second egg being developed and released.
1-5 = you produce more eggs, and ovulate sooner, with a stronger ovulation.
2-6 = you produce more eggs that usual, but not as many as taking it 1-5. Eggs may be more mature, and ovulation will be slightly more strong than 1-5.
3-7 = The best of both worlds, a few more eggs, and all eggs will be strong & mature, and ovulation will be alot stronger than 1-5.
4-8 = No more eggs will be produced, but the ones already there, will be matured alot more than usual, and ovulation will be very strong. Ovulation may only be brought forward a teeny bit.
5-9 = You’ll have one very mature strong egg, from the ones you already produced on your own. Ovulation will either happen when it usually does, or a few days later, but your egg will be of great quality.

The dose is really down to you but you should always use the lowest amount that works for you.

With Clomid the starting dose is 100mg. Soya Isoflavones are said to be half the strength of Clomid, so it makes sense for the starting dose to be 100mg.

The trouble with 100mg of soya is that the capsules tend to come as 40mg. So you have a choice of starting at 80mg or 120mg.
I would recommend that if you know that you do ovulate without taking soy then you should start with 80mg.

And if you know that you don’t usually ovulate you can start with 120mg.

Some women change the dose on different days. So they may start at 120mg for the first 3 days then give an extra boost for the last 2 days with 160mg. 
As I have said though, use the lowest dose possible for yourself. If you ovulate using 120mg/day stick to that for a few cycles. GIVE IT A CHANCE. It is said that it takes 3months to get the full benefits of what you are taking. NEVER EXCEED 200mg/day.

The following potential health benefits are attributed to Isoflavones:

Reduce heart disease risk 

Protect against prostate problems

improve bone health

Reduce cancer risk

As with any medication, taking Soya Isoflavones may cause side effects such as:




Hot flushes

Night sweats



Thrush – mentioned by a few ladies on this board so added to the list.

In no particular order. Obviously the higher the dose you take the higher your chance of experiencing side effects.

Breast cancer, hepatic disease, prostate cancer, kidney disease, taking hormone treatments, thyroid disease, and allergies to soy, peanuts or other legumes.

Soy Isoflavones should not be taken while breastfeeding or pregnant.

Soy Isoflavones may interact with the following medications; androstenedione, antibiotics, clomiphene, DHEA, contraceptives and other female hormones, finasteride, raloxifene, red clover, tamoxifen, testosterone and other male hormones, thyroid hormones, and toremifene.

NOTE: Just like Clomid, Soya Isoflavones may not help some women at all!

Although research carried out on FF has shown that 77% of women taking Soya Isoflavones on the stated days at the stated doses, got there BFP on their first cycle taking them!


trip to cardiff

So I’m currently on my way back from Cardiff after the Iron Maiden gig. 

I was really anxious about going. We had a member of staff leave… Leaving mum in the shit with work… I hate leaving her to deal with a mess like that! I don’t mind doing the 12 hour days but I don’t like making her do it 😦 

But I coped well with the traveling to Cardiff and the gig. I did get a bit overwhelmed during maiden and stood to the side. I got told off by a couple people for taking video, pictures apparently too much when maiden first came on…. Kind of pissed me off a bit. 

I also managed well with food by picking up food from m&s for the day and eating healthy stuff. But I did get chips and Donner meat after maiden….. Woops :/ drunk and hungry Stevie makes bad food decisions! But made up for it at breakfast with yoghurt fruit and wholemeal toast. 

I’m so happy with how far I’ve come over the last few months. A while back I would have had major anxiety attacks over going away like this. But it’s been a lot better that I expected. 


Silly dogs got me up at half 5 this morning so I’m shattered. Making me a grumpy person!

Feeling a bit sad this evening. Spent a long time talking to Gran about stuff today which was really good. But this evening I’m feeling a bit sad. Probably because im so tired. I just wish it was my turn…. Wish I was pregnant again. Damn wanting a baby so much

memories for my boys

So in the last 18 months I lost 2 dogs one which was my heart dog Ozzy. Nothing will replace him at all. My first dog and one that helped me through somuch

And blue. He had his issues and wasn’t a dog for this Earth but still meant the world to us. 9 months of love from us. 

But I got this today to remember them. 

the last week

Well the last week has been pretty busy to be honest. Work has been good… But hard. 

I’ve pushed myself to the limits with my anxiety but going to a larger house party, my cousin has had her baby! And I’ve been to see her and little D. She’s so cute. 

I managed really well with both things. I had a melt down when we got home from the party. But I know that’s because of the pressure I put myself under and the anxiety kicked in. But I managed it with the help of Chris. I love that man so much, he know just what to do when I get into that mess. He’s wonderful.

I really did think I wouldn’t cope with seeing D but she is so adorable and cute! I do just wish it was me.
 But I had my first lot of bloods today and booked in the next lot and then to see doctor after. So Fingers crossed we get some answers soon. I’m really worried that there is something wrong…. I’m tempted to track my ovulation this month to go alongside my bloods but I’m worries it will stress me out. So not sure about doing it 

i will try….

Since finding out I can get referred for help with fertility ive ebeen feeling a lot better a lot more positive.

And today had been the best day I have had since all this shit started. I haven’t been this happy in months. 

My cousin had very baby Sunday which is awesome! I think I’m dealing with it ok. I’ve not seen them yet….. So that’s going to be a big challenge for me I think. I really have been thinking about how much I wish it was me. I’m very jelouse I think…. Definitely feeling it. But holding up. Terri deserves this so much after everything sh e went through last year. I just wish it was me…. I obviously need some help. 

I’m scared about that, I wonder what is wrong to take this long to concieve. 

Me and Chris watched Moana again tonight! If you haven’t watched it… Go and watch it now! It’s brilliant. I can completely relate to it at the moment… Spoilers ahead

Maui takes the heart, the heart of creation. And a lava monster appears. But they have to return the heart to bring life back to the world. And it turns out the lava monster is the same thing he took the heart from. She is mother Earth. It nearly made me cry at the end. I could relate to the story so much.

I lost my baby…. It destroted my heart and my soul, it took some of me with it when it went. I need to fix myself. Then maybe, just maybe I will get my baby.

I really do hope so… Every month that goes by I worry more and more that my pcos is worse that I thought…. Maybe I’m not ovulating. . or at the wrong time…  Or maybe I just can’t do it… And i have a tiny success rate…. 

Work is hard…..

We have a dog in that I’m getting so stressed out with. He is so much hard work….. I started getting stressed out yesterday then he came in for boarding and ended up giving we an anxiety attack… So glad he’s going home at 9…. He’s meant to be in a Christmas… He won’t be without some work!

Fertility….. Business and life in general 

So here I am….. 02:40 am on a ‘tuesday’ night I can’t sleep….. We came to bed about 11. I dozed off until 12 then again until about quarter past 2…. I just can’t sleep… I have a lot on my mind.

I’ve been a bit low recently again the last week, but I had a really good week off and felt much better! So I think I was expecting this to be honest. Just really wish things would go my way now. I’m so fed up of the hiccups of life now….

Amber has gone into hospital with her morning sickness. Poor girl 😦 I feel so bad for her 😦

Terri is due next week. It’s so exciting! Can’t wait to meet the little one now! Terri is looking so good too! So jealous! Carrying a 7lb baby and still looks amazing.

I haven’t lost any weight in 3 weeks, but this week I’ve had a lot of compliments saying I’ve lost weight and looking good…. So something got to be working…. Right? 

I went to the doctors today and spoke to them about my weight, my constant acid reflux and help with fertility. The doctors are happy with weight as it is slowly coming off and with pcos and amount of loss is good apparently. Even 1lb in a month…. 

So fertility treatments…. When I went to see my doctor she told me I would have to wait a year from last conception and have a bmi of 30 or less (I’m 33). Well I got fed up of this doctor as every time I’ve seen her she’s been all… How do you describe it….. Airy fairy and umming and arrring and not really coming up with any solutions. But I decided to see someone else. And she was great! Very pro active, asking questions listing to what I was actually saying and coming up with a proper plan. She seemed very forward and it suits me better. I clicked with her. 

I got a lot on my mind…. I’m really annoyed at a local land owner who I approached about renting land for a secure dog walking field…. He said to me that I can use it on a casual baises £10 for 3 hours a day as he couldn’t go into business with me as it’s national trust land. But when I asked for 4 hours he turned abound and asked for £30! A day…… I could just about afford 10!!! I’m just so annoyed he’s taken my business idea and set it up….. Then pricrd me out when I gave him the idea! It’s a proper kick in the teeth and now I’m back to square one on finding land…. It sucks… I was so close.