i will try….

Since finding out I can get referred for help with fertility ive ebeen feeling a lot better a lot more positive.

And today had been the best day I have had since all this shit started. I haven’t been this happy in months. 

My cousin had very baby Sunday which is awesome! I think I’m dealing with it ok. I’ve not seen them yet….. So that’s going to be a big challenge for me I think. I really have been thinking about how much I wish it was me. I’m very jelouse I think…. Definitely feeling it. But holding up. Terri deserves this so much after everything sh e went through last year. I just wish it was me…. I obviously need some help. 

I’m scared about that, I wonder what is wrong to take this long to concieve. 


Me and Chris watched Moana again tonight! If you haven’t watched it… Go and watch it now! It’s brilliant. I can completely relate to it at the moment… Spoilers ahead

Maui takes the heart, the heart of creation. And a lava monster appears. But they have to return the heart to bring life back to the world. And it turns out the lava monster is the same thing he took the heart from. She is mother Earth. It nearly made me cry at the end. I could relate to the story so much.

I lost my baby…. It destroted my heart and my soul, it took some of me with it when it went. I need to fix myself. Then maybe, just maybe I will get my baby.

I really do hope so… Every month that goes by I worry more and more that my pcos is worse that I thought…. Maybe I’m not ovulating. . or at the wrong time…  Or maybe I just can’t do it… And i have a tiny success rate…. 

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