the struggle continues

I’m trying not to let it all get to me. 

I’m trying to be positive and the happy go lucky person i have been again recently. But I’m tired.

Work is stressful, staff are stressful, dogs are stressful, i have lost my passion for work.

My house isn’t as much of a mess anymore… But it’s not how i want it. 

I still don’t have a baby… And I’m still not pregnant. I don’t know why and it hurts like hell.

I feel so fat and don’t understand why i can’t loose weight even when eating to my diet. I feel like i should stop eating completely….. Obviously i wont… That’s just stupid. But i eat right and exercise and can’t loose weight.

My back is fucked again so ATM I’ve taken some old tramadol and it’s helped so fingers crossed it will work itself out. 

I just feel so lost with everything. I don’t have time to do everything i want to do. I can’t afford to do everything i want to do. I can’t make Chris happy…. 

Maybe i should sell the business…. Maybe i need to take a step back…. Maybe i need to change how things work at work… Maybe then i will be happy again 

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