Fed up

About ready to give up… Fed up of my weight gain due to pcos even though I’m restricting my diet… Fed up to taking so many tablets… Fed up of not being able to catch…. Fed up of waiting for anything to happen :/ 


Feeling a bit meh today. 

I shouldn’t be. We’ve employed an apprentice who has started this week and has already lowered my stress levels.

But I’m worried about money…. Worried about my weight… Im worried bout why my test results came back ok but I still can’t concieve…. Worried about Chris test results…. Worried we aren’t brining in enough new business at work…. 

Bah I can’t manage all this

What’s been happening…

I’ve not posted in ages, things have been so manic here recently. Work has been really busy which is great.

I’ve had bloods taken to start the fertility referal, and get my results today. I’m a little nervous!!

Emotionally I’ve been doing really well I think, I’ve had a couple of crashes but on the whole I’m doing good! 

I’ve gained some weight again which I’m pissed off at buto well…. My diet has been a little off and I cut back the drugs as I was running low and forgot to hand in my prescription. 

Update, my results all came back good. Apart from a increased amoith of bacteria in my lady bits… Which is fixed with a week if antibiotic. Nothing major so all good.

Really makes me question why we haven’t concieved though. Maybe I ovulated this month….. I dunno but I know I got the all clear. 

A new drug to try…

So I’ve been doing some reading and I’m going to give this a try.  Natural clomid. With a 77% chance of concieving, I’m happy to try anything! 


Soya Isoflavones are derived from soya beans. They have been dubbed “the natural Clomid,”

As they work in pretty much an identical manner. 

Just like Clomid; Soya Isoflavones work by tricking your body into thinking its low on oestrogen. Your body then kick starts production of FSH (Follicle-stimulating hormone) followed by LH (Luteinizing hormone) Which are both necessary to release Healthy Eggs during ovulation.

FSH is released at the start of the menstrual cycle; it stimulates the growth of an immature egg into a fully matured egg. When the egg has matured your body then releases a surge of LH. LH is the hormone that tells the ovary to release the egg.

You take Soy Isoflavones, like Clomid, on either CD 1-5 , 2-6, 3-7 , 4-8 or 5-9.

If you take soy Isoflavones during the later time bracket, for example CD5-9, you shall strengthen the egg that has already started growing producing a healthier egg. The earlier in your cycle you take It, the higher your chance of releasing multiple eggs but these eggs will not be as mature as the eggs grown from taking Soya later. 

A lot of women will choose the middle cycle (3 -7) allowing time for a strong and healthy egg to develop without erasing the chance of a second egg being developed and released.
1-5 = you produce more eggs, and ovulate sooner, with a stronger ovulation.
2-6 = you produce more eggs that usual, but not as many as taking it 1-5. Eggs may be more mature, and ovulation will be slightly more strong than 1-5.
3-7 = The best of both worlds, a few more eggs, and all eggs will be strong & mature, and ovulation will be alot stronger than 1-5.
4-8 = No more eggs will be produced, but the ones already there, will be matured alot more than usual, and ovulation will be very strong. Ovulation may only be brought forward a teeny bit.
5-9 = You’ll have one very mature strong egg, from the ones you already produced on your own. Ovulation will either happen when it usually does, or a few days later, but your egg will be of great quality.

The dose is really down to you but you should always use the lowest amount that works for you.

With Clomid the starting dose is 100mg. Soya Isoflavones are said to be half the strength of Clomid, so it makes sense for the starting dose to be 100mg.

The trouble with 100mg of soya is that the capsules tend to come as 40mg. So you have a choice of starting at 80mg or 120mg.
I would recommend that if you know that you do ovulate without taking soy then you should start with 80mg.

And if you know that you don’t usually ovulate you can start with 120mg.

Some women change the dose on different days. So they may start at 120mg for the first 3 days then give an extra boost for the last 2 days with 160mg. 
As I have said though, use the lowest dose possible for yourself. If you ovulate using 120mg/day stick to that for a few cycles. GIVE IT A CHANCE. It is said that it takes 3months to get the full benefits of what you are taking. NEVER EXCEED 200mg/day.

The following potential health benefits are attributed to Isoflavones:

Reduce heart disease risk 

Protect against prostate problems

improve bone health

Reduce cancer risk

As with any medication, taking Soya Isoflavones may cause side effects such as:




Hot flushes

Night sweats



Thrush – mentioned by a few ladies on this board so added to the list.

In no particular order. Obviously the higher the dose you take the higher your chance of experiencing side effects.

Breast cancer, hepatic disease, prostate cancer, kidney disease, taking hormone treatments, thyroid disease, and allergies to soy, peanuts or other legumes.

Soy Isoflavones should not be taken while breastfeeding or pregnant.

Soy Isoflavones may interact with the following medications; androstenedione, antibiotics, clomiphene, DHEA, contraceptives and other female hormones, finasteride, raloxifene, red clover, tamoxifen, testosterone and other male hormones, thyroid hormones, and toremifene.

NOTE: Just like Clomid, Soya Isoflavones may not help some women at all!

Although research carried out on FF has shown that 77% of women taking Soya Isoflavones on the stated days at the stated doses, got there BFP on their first cycle taking them!

trip to cardiff

So I’m currently on my way back from Cardiff after the Iron Maiden gig. 

I was really anxious about going. We had a member of staff leave… Leaving mum in the shit with work… I hate leaving her to deal with a mess like that! I don’t mind doing the 12 hour days but I don’t like making her do it 😦 

But I coped well with the traveling to Cardiff and the gig. I did get a bit overwhelmed during maiden and stood to the side. I got told off by a couple people for taking video, pictures apparently too much when maiden first came on…. Kind of pissed me off a bit. 

I also managed well with food by picking up food from m&s for the day and eating healthy stuff. But I did get chips and Donner meat after maiden….. Woops :/ drunk and hungry Stevie makes bad food decisions! But made up for it at breakfast with yoghurt fruit and wholemeal toast. 

I’m so happy with how far I’ve come over the last few months. A while back I would have had major anxiety attacks over going away like this. But it’s been a lot better that I expected. 


Silly dogs got me up at half 5 this morning so I’m shattered. Making me a grumpy person!

Feeling a bit sad this evening. Spent a long time talking to Gran about stuff today which was really good. But this evening I’m feeling a bit sad. Probably because im so tired. I just wish it was my turn…. Wish I was pregnant again. Damn wanting a baby so much

memories for my boys

So in the last 18 months I lost 2 dogs one which was my heart dog Ozzy. Nothing will replace him at all. My first dog and one that helped me through somuch

And blue. He had his issues and wasn’t a dog for this Earth but still meant the world to us. 9 months of love from us. 

But I got this today to remember them.